wah i haf my dialogues!!!!!!! help!!!!!!!!
in the comp lab now. above our gp lesson. supposedly doing pw. well blogging obviously. see u guys later...
boo. hmm. was in gd mood actually.. having bummed my sunday away. nothing fruitful.. but havent felt so so laid back in a while. just swam real slowly in the morn, came home for a nap. ate, slept. watched tv, slept. ate...
but now am online talking to this guy who is SO depressed i dunno what to do! feeling damn bad, trying to tell him to lighten up.. look forward in life: [just to share what i feel if any of u guys are not feeling particulaly optimistic too. -choy!-]
"theres a lot more to come in life. we;ve got to look at the happy things, consider the bad things tt have happened but learn to put those behind and look forward to more happy things. we are capable of living a rich life! so why not try to?"
"i dun look for a meaning in life.. cos i did tt before, and the answer.. or rather the lack of one q scared me. live life the fullest as much as i can. sure i feel like shit sm days.. tts when pple like u brighten it up for me. then i know why im here.. because of u guys. otherwise i just try to have fun.. bring fun to others."
arrgh. whatever.
feeling so shit. arrgh. and so sorry i was lousy friend..
hon
i've just added links to other classes' blogs though most are dead. except 6e's bcos olivia left for hk and there's some activity there for the moment
yarh i think ppl in our class generally wunt take tt way out. doesnt seem to make sense to us. i hope at least...
i'd assume, from ppl's responses in this blog, tt u all read my blog anyway, so i'm not going to repeat wat i say in mine here.
u noe wat i really haf lots of homework to catch up on...
bena: i'm glad u're ok. perhaps sometimes u can tell me stuff too... though i shud believe u'd prefer to tell ee sang wuldnt u... haha
evelyn: u looked really affected tt day, and it shud seem tt u havent really recovered either. take care ok?
weili: if u guys still recall, my worst depression was probably when i knew i screwed up my moe scholarship interview. everything was going fine just b4 tt, i was totally happy, and then it just all broke down. and luckily i managed it well... haha i recall ppl like bena and evelyn telling me to cheer up on this blog. but i guess it was really minor, i dun ever think suicidal thoughts will ever come to my mind... but considering tt tt was already my worst depression, u can see how happy i've been thruout my life. no. actually not. not happy. just not depressed. yup.
weili: erm. i think it shud b covered up. no point making it known either. not so much abt reputation i think. i really believe in what mr hodge does. in my words, he is a "gd man". and the reason why i actually use such simple terms, apart from the fact tt my vocabulary is really limited, is because these two words are enough to describe what he really is. he is a gd man. i wonder if anyone can agree with me on this...
eric: what do u mean by "sec sch life where life was at a slightly mature stage"? a bit lost...
everyone: nobody is responding to my "lonely" post.... respond!!
everyone pls promise tt u'll never take that way out. wouldn't be able to cope with it. just wouldn't.
oh yes! haha i walked past mr shah after tt..
hmm hk: guess there isnt much to 'accept' or not. thing is, my consciousness will prob just choose to believe tt im not seeing her ard simply cos she isnt ard in sch, or ard me.. same thing as missing my grandad [passed away years back].. like ive said many times: i will most certainly believe tt its really happening shld my granddad just pop by one weekend like he used to. there is smth abt death tt i cant put my finger on.. cant figure out what happens to the person when he dies. ok: decomposition, etc. afterlife, etc.. but i need smth more tangible! seems to me tt if i die, i will feel immense emptiness.. tt is if i feel anyth at all[what actually happens when u die!?] then again i guess immense emptiness is what makes living seem unworthwhile.
terribly impressed by what hk, eric and weili said.. made sense, and i share most of ur sentiments.
was touched by smses last night.. friends who were once close, but now sadly not so, just dropped a msg to say hi because hey realised how fragile life cld be.. and yes, like all those soppy forwarded emails remind us: we have gotta let pple know u care for them, cos otherwise when will u ever tell them?
3f: my life's centred v much ard 3f.. u guys are just great!
"Everything was beautiful
Every hour spent together
Lives within my heart"
.. excerpt fm 'when she loved me' the toy story song.. got this bit stuck in my head.. tho a lil irrelevant, if taken out of context, it does apply!
cheers
hon
see u guys ard if uve got recall later..
meanwhile, back to join the rat race which does seems to require much more stamina than i can muster -- onto 3 d trigo
neh i still do blog... go read my blog on my thoughts on this whole thing...
abt friends. sometimes i really realise. do i haf any best-best friends. not really.
i'm bringing myself to be rather involved in chorale, but i guess i must be careful not to overinvest in it, so tt in case sth does happen i wunt break down...
sometimes. i just feel tt i'm very lonely. my relatives are all not here, it's omost as though they're non-existent, meet them only like once in two years (or even less)... i'm the only child. maybe i'm really lonely. and i'd probably haf told some of u esp bena, tt if there are 3 ppl walking together and the pavement can only fit 2, i'm either walking alone, or i will be walking on the grass. y?
hon: THAT WAS MR MICHAEL!!! haha. well mr shah seldom makes the effort to walk out of the specs gal area... yeah hope the band girls had fun. but none of them check anyway.
hon: haf u accepted the fact yet?
bleah
haha seems like i only come to blog these days when im in a pretty foul mood. well back home early cos jap's cancelled, and not gonna watch motivational/inspirational guys floorball. guess the atmosphere today put me down lots.
dunno, just thinking of what paul khoo and eric said.. how everyth really is centred ard sch. yet i'm not tt involved in sch.. as in no -best-best- friend in sch sort of, not tt as involved in hockey nor faction as i wld like myself and others to be.. walked home alone aft sch today and realised tt i do tt lots.. u see everyone else going back w smone else. but i just prefer to walk alone smtimes, esp aft a long trng day or smth.. hmm lotsa thots.. maybe a lil disjointed, but no particular problem.. just cant put things down on paper and 'circle' them as suggested by mr khoo [again] but i guess this mellow feeling will wear off.
to whoever's feeling mellow as well..: come on, life's like tt. mr shah told hk, eric and i [wangning too?]: we cant turn back the hands of time, so we live for the present, do what we have gotta do... or smth like tt. u guys get the pt anw.
hope the band girls have fun at fortcanning. it better stop raining for their sake! and qq and weili and ms lee get well soon.
so, cheers
hon
hmm up early, in a bad mood. blasting blink doesnt seem to the the trick.. dun even really know why im so pissed. but no worries, will find fun in today..
floorball yesterday was fun. how soccer and the rest? well done guys! heard team B got first! woo. med thrashed the other facs for floorball.. [and i actually scored too:)] was real tired out last night.. slept at abt 10 again..aft getting home at 945:s
gotta go tuts. must learn to sleep later.
hmm. sarah mclachlan seems drearily befitting to my mood. haha whatever lar
see u guys real soon
cheers
hon
oh i remembered there was once when i was an usher for oh yes the chamber concert... and then somebody who wanted to ask me where the toilet was went "i feel like i need to speak in proper english when i meeet a rafflesian". weird.
rocks!! haha so happy i can finally post. tsk tsk weili: just admit tt u are slack lar. haha. oh no.. this reminds me of smth tt really got me irked yesterday.. i left sch early for this racial harmony event [in the news today] which needed jc students fm all the colleges to be facilitators. i was the only raffles girl in my grp.. and this guy who honestly ought to be shot just tekan-ed me simply because of the r-a-f-f-l-e-s on my shirt.. making snide comments abt lil things till he finally shut up when i threw him my deadliest glare.
eric: u get a deadly glare too..
hmm ive been in a pretty bleah mood these 2 days.. expected i guess.. with rushing fm ac to rj for trng at 7 last night, and leaving sch at almost 9, then waking up at 5 to be in ac at 630 this morn when it was thundering and flashing lightning. rushed back to sch for trng at 1 plus, but trng was over.. [i cant play floorball for nuts.. and the comp is in two three weeks time? i wanna play!]
so just went for a run to vent my frust accumulated fm the inefficiency of the organising of tt event today. then stoned in the almost empty canteen for a few hours.. was therapeutic just sitting there, talking a lil to the hockers [not the girls.. they went off for icecream but i just didnt feel like going. smth was q wrong there right:s :p] and company.. no loud [do u pple think its crude?] laughter and stuff.. just sm talking, and lil jokes, felt really gd smhow.
though the day was :s overall.. it had its perks i must say.. when my grp won the competition overall! woo. all the minahs fm this sec sch were v on! and im really really glad to say ive forged stronger friendships with other faction pple.
oh on tt.. i must tell u guys how hard all the cheerleading and banner pple have worked!! they were all still practising hard at 9 plus on friday night, [yh was tehre too!] and today, cps arts and engine were in sch again! bet they are still there dancing, practising flips and whatnot at this moment. terribly touched by their committment. this is truly fac spirit man! most impressed with cps.. just saw the most of them both days, and the fac pple in cps are just so so on!
.. ok long long post today:p still feeling mellow, probably just tired.. planning to sleep after showering in 10 min time. u guys have a gd nights rest too. see u guys monday! woo onto more netball pls!
cheers
hon!
Channel NewsAsia: "Asked for his response to the secret taping incident, Rear Admiral Teo made it clear he was behind the RJC's principal, and he is leaving it to principals to decide on the recording devices allowed in schools.
Admiral Teo said: 'Situations like these between teachers and students are not uncommon, and we should let the principal decide what to do, and I have full confidence he will be able to make the right decisions.
'There is no need for me to make a policy on this. It is not a big issue. I will leave it to the principal to decide what is best, in terms of what devices the children can bring to school, whether they distract from the educational process taking place, or they contribute.'"
nothing much to blog abt.. unless u wanna noe how i slacked the entire saturday away.. and i finally watched far frm heaven.. went to my friend's house and watched it on vcd.. errr.. movie quality wasn't fantastic, to say the least.. totally gave up on trying to catch the movie in the cinema.. with all those 9+ movie times at all the ulu cinemas.. bleah.. think i'm coming down with a nasty sore throat.. ate too many packets of ruffles.. *sigh* this is really bad.. i need to get down to doing the tutorials.. oh and who set up tt poll in the egrps? *laffs*
hk.. lol tt's so.. err scientific..
bena.. congrats!
eric.. shall just respect ur viewpt then :)
bena congrats! and wei li... u noe chem lecture on thursday. i was like constantly falling asleep in front of dr chan lar. and the "lecturers can only see ppl at the back, not those who are right in front" theory doesnt work. Let A be his eyes, and B be his transparency slides. well. my head when lying on the table is C which is also AB produced. and the thing is C divides AB externally in the ratio 2:1... so the image in his retina was highly sharp, (not magnified), inverted. but i guess only his rods were in use cos his visual purple (otherwise known as rhodopsin) in his cones was probably bleached by the OHP's light into visual yellow and eventually visual white.
note: change the "lecturers can only see ppl at the back, not those who are right in front" theory to: "Very Seldom Ectually-see Pupils Right-in-front (VSEPR)" theory. more apt.
boo! this is the umpteenth time ive tried to post. it better publish NOW [hmm i sound psycho.. typing to noone.. but arrgh]
tired. so zonked in sch today. the beginning of bio prac took the cake. dunno how i managed to sleep during the slides on tv thing. but it got pretty fun aft tt i must say.
haha and of course i was awake smtimes during the day.. photo taking and the accidents during break. im really sorry weili! the hairband was seriously overboard, but i really2 didnt mean it!! but hahaha uve got to admit tt it was q funny
tryign to settle all my online stuff at one shot.. pw and faction and rmp and whatnot.. hey guys: do the survey pls! thx lots! not many pple online.. rest lots yeah! tmrs short day! woo track finals. cant wait. i miss track. will jsut let the euphoria wash over me tmr.. smtimes wish i was still running. but nvm. no regrets.
bean: u seem to need this smhow: -hug!-
cheers
night!
hon
bena~! a happy belated bdae to ya.. dont worry abt gym, just relax and go for it!! (ok wat kindda advice is this?? sorry)
i'm doing all i can to delay doing gp hw.. hai.. it's qte monotonous..
hey u noe i dont mean to sound pro govt or anything.. but i dont see wat's wrong with vying to be 1st in everything.. i mean it's a competitive world out there.. u'll only be left behind if u have the mentality of "it's ok if i'm not first, being second is completely fine with me"... hmmm.. but i guess it's a diff thing altogether if we compromise our values, lose our cultural identity or do sth unethical in the process.. but oh well, tt's just my opinion..
oh and b4 i forget.. do drop by my blog at http://semiicharmedlife.blogspot.com (double i)... haha.. had quite a blast doing it..
for all those who haven't finished gp.. i wish, for ur sake, tt ur reading speed will accelerate to 10pg/s.. ok i'm really going nuts.. !(@*#(!@J#I@J#I
not too stress free a wk for me... anyway yar ee sang perhaps they're overdoing it... but one of the reasons y it's done in singapore is for the reputation of the surgery team. they want singapore to be the first blah blah blah (i'm really so sick and tired of hearing such stuff. like we're the first to have a fully automated undergrd train system. as though it matters to the passenger whether it's a manned train or not. it's just all for the reputation. first this first tt. at this rate we're going to be the first country to fall bcos of complacency) and now tt they have unfortunately failed, they'd haf to end it properly. if u bcum very hush hush abt it suddenly i guess ppl will start to suspect whether the surgeons made blunders.
look at the time!! i'm like home now.. going to read harry potter and satisfy myself.. then will go do tutorial 10b.. can't remember a thing about general solutions so tt means i've got to spend qte a lot of time on it.. hmmm.. yah.. was just talking to rosros and weili about the fate of the iranian twins.. life's really fragile, isn't it?
ps. why isn't anyone posting?? this week's like quite stress-free what!!
sorry... i cant plan for anything for monday. chorale. haha. and then piano lesson. yar my exam on friday. *wishes hk luck* haha wish benas and evelyns happy birthdays. and actually andys (now doesnt tt include me) and bingruis.
hey nobody interested in courses issit.
just went to jurong point. very tired. but was totally carefree. din even wear a watch, din haf to look at it and say die. 9 o clock oreadi. blah test tml. and i have only 3 hrs to mug. die. very gd day. relaxing
i've another brilliant idea: tt is to start courses... for our own class (or other ppl if they want). we can teach a bit of everything, if anybody is eager to learn. as far as i am concerned, i can teach
japanese - with colleagues bao luo, hon lyn, christelle
cantonese - with colleage xiaohui
piano - with colleaguessssssssss rosalynn, christine, bing rui, sunni, (bena? electone right), weili, evelyn, yingheng, andy, shifeng (wow so many colleagues, can form a union already)
yup. and i wuld love ppl to teach me new stuff. perhaps french or wateva else. german, yes.
heyaaa~ yayayayayay common tests finally over... i have like 1983294387483 things to do... just came back and legs really ache now after walking for like almost the whole day.. super excited.. need to watch all my recorded shows (darn i'm really turning into a couch potato), read harry potter (very very impt.. can't wait)... oh yah and pay off tt horrible sleep debt tt has accumulated.. my goodness.. almost couldn't open my eyes today lah.. struggling to keep them open even tho charlie's angels was qte nice.. very very tired..
hey i think i've got a brilliant idea, yeah i really think so.
my idea is to pool notes. our self-prepared ones of cos. i'm sure we'll be able to find sth tt someone else has realised but u haf yet to. somebody who has seen the light and u borrow his/her candle to light your own flame. gd idea? gd idea. perhaps we can then put it into one big file "1so3f 2003"....
boo guys! yeah guess its inevitable tt blog's quieter now. i didnt even see more than half the class on monday..:(
yes. those of u: declaration form..
[bean: u went home? hmm:p]
so is the amazing thing this sun still on? pls let it be on!! woo.
gotta study chem tmr morn :s fell asleep in the lib just now.
well we're one-fourth/ one-fifth down on commons.. keep going :)
cheers
hon!